The Magnificent Seven Review : ‘All action…but the depth of a kiddie pool’
There’s an old saying that goes “If you keep polishing something that’s already great…the shine will wear off”. Okay there’s no such saying but it holds great for this context. For a movie which is a remake of John Sturges 1960's classic The Magnificent Seven which in turn was the remake of the 1954 Kurosawa classic Seven Samurai, it is a step as unintuitive and silly as ordering a pumpkin spiced latte on your first date. So the only way to do an unbiased assessment of the movie would be to consider it in isolation. I mean the original had Yul Brynner an the lead…and that guy was intense!
Denzel Washington being way more unchained than Django, is the only character who seems to stand out amongst the rest. Chris Pratt is well…Chris Pratt and gets to mouth the funny lines. Ethan Hawke’s internal struggle battling a sense of moral dichotomy was a promising set up but fizzles out to just being a guy with a ridiculous name (Goodnight…yes that’s his name). Vincent D’Onofrio has the potential to be interesting but his screen time gets eaten away. The rest sadly feel like tokens as Donald Trump’s worst nightmare: Immigrants. In fact that diversity amongst the seven seems so unreal after being used to Hollywoods habit of whitewashing roles that it seems like a live rendition of the ubiquitous diversity stock image.
The movie goes through the same three acts as its predecessor : The recruiting, The training and The final showdown. The recruiting is a fun watch but is absolutely befuddling due to the lack of a character motivation for any one of them who is not a Denzel. Hence the whole process seems rushed cause apparently being the suicide squad is now the IN thing. The training is something that is glossed over quickly and unintentionally looks like those 3 day workshops you waste your money on and learn nothing.
And then comes The final showdown, and that’s where the movie actually manages to make a mark. There are some Grade A action sequences throughout the movie that sorta make up for the lack of character development. The body count in the movie might make John Rambo go “You guys need to chill” with one of the great boss fights for modern hollywood westerns. Yes, the plot might be terribly predictable and some factual inconsistencies here and there but in the end it doesn’t even matter.
And so The Magnificent Seven ultimately comes off as a not so memorable yet fun watch.
